all you need is love

This weekend Jake and I set out for Roanoke, VA to attend both a wedding and a funeral. Our good friends Justin & Katie were tying the knot and Jake's family was coming together to mourn his MaMaw Williams' recent passing. Both occasions were taking place within 15 minutes of each other, making it very easy to be everywhere we needed to be- no doubt a blessing from the Lord.

I don't want this reflection to be dark, because the weekend wasn't. Both Jake and I had such a sense of joy when we sat with his family because his MaMaw had a beautiful life. She had 91 years filled with love and laughter and left behind an absolutely wonderful legacy (something to the effect of 7 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren, and 1 great great grandchild). She was a God fearing woman and I have no doubt she is heaven, which is something to be celebrated.

For being an emotional person, I tend to handle funerals very well. There is a peace in knowing that people have moved on to a better place and that in some cases suffering has ended. My heart goes out to the family always, but I know where their rest and comfort must come from.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."- Matthew 5:4

The biggest thing that was made so clear over the weekend is the importance of l o v e. The thing that was touched on time and time again regarding Jake's grandmother was that she loved her family, friends, and the Lord so well. This theme of love carried into the wedding too. While at one event we were celebrating the end of a life full of love, at the other we were celebrating just the beginning.

Justin and Katie are two people who love those around them so well and now they have a new challenge to love each other in this sacred commitment of marriage. Katie's sister's toast went on to talk about how this love between Katie and Justin was a love they could trust for so many reasons and I think everyone at their wedding agreed wholeheartedly. I know I did.

All in all I was touched to see two very separate occasions share an important truth, and that is that we are designed to love. I know Jake felt encouraged by the experience as well and I'd like to think we are a little bit closer because of it. Here is to to the hope of our own 66 years.

Take a good, hard look

Most of you probably think I'm a creature of habit/routine- and to an extent I am, but there is another part of me that craves change.

It sounds a little crazy but I've noticed since Jake took a job in Virginia Beach that I've been desperately seeking a change. Lately I've channeled that need into researching moving, switching our furniture around, & acquiring a pet...I'm looking for something different (clearly). But in all seriousness, are these things really going to fulfill this seemingly urgent need for change? I don't think so.

When Jake was debating where to take a job, I found myself an unbiased supporter. I wanted us to pray about the next step and for once didn't want my opinion to weigh in so heavily (I don't know if I even had an opinion at all, which is a first). It was important to me that we approached this big decision the right way- I knew I'd get excited no matter where we ended up. And the truth is, now that we've committed to VB, that hope of change is gone...at least for me. Now, I'm seeking a replacement, something else that could substitute a change in cities and I'm coming up empty handed. So what is the real issue here? If you asked me that question 2 days ago, I would have just blankly stared back at you...I mean I didn't see anything unusual with my recent behavior. But as I started to blog after the weekend I began asking myself questions, provoking deeper thought regarding the insignificant behaviors I was writing about. I took a good, hard look at just what was going on with me beneath the surface.

And here is what I found...

1. Fact, I had put a lot more hope in the chance of moving than I admitted to myself or anyone else, but I am not disappointed- NO, I'm responding to a situation that I whole-heartedly trusted the Lord to make. A decision I saw going a different direction in the back of my mind, but one that ultimately I avoided control of (which isn't like me). Its a weird feeling.

2. These changes I've been focused on are merely distractions. I didn't get my way in a sense so I've been looking for simpler, easier things to control. Well, the Lord isn't having that! Like I could "one up" him with a dog anyway, who do I think I am??? He is B R E A K I N G me down, slowly but surely! Have you ever had that happen? This isn't the first time for me and that's how I recognize it. For me it comes in the form of crazy emotions, being slapped in the face with reality, and humbled by just how small and known I am.

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD." -Psalm 139: 1, 4

3. The Lord is using me for his purpose in all of this. He is using my placement here in VB, he is using this sobering lesson, and he is using my drive and passion...maybe not for change, but I feel very confident he is going to direct it on something amazing, I just know it.