I'm awful

I really am awful when it comes to care taking.  I like to think that's not the case, but anything over 24 hours and you've lost my interest.  Don't get me wrong... for those first 24 hrs you feel like a king/queen, but after that you've lost your status.  My concern has a limit and it's called time.

This makes me embarrassed and concerned for so many reasons.

1. I'd like to have kids (well maybe just one) at some point and I realize their issues/needs can't be contained to a single day.  Bummer.
2. I have friends and family members that stay at home and have a gift for care taking and I can't even be patient with Jake and his broken foot for two weeks.  It's true.  I'm way over this injury and he still has at least another two weeks to go.  kill.me.now.
3. My brief concern for people and their needs is a bit selfish and highlights how truly impatient I am.
4. The truth is, if Jake didn't wait hand and foot on me each time I got sick I'd be devastated.  There is something about being on the receiving end of this treatment that makes you feel better.  Can you say hypocrite?
5. This behavior isn't earning me much credit in the wife department- well just in general, I wouldn't even be appealing as a roommate at this rate.  I don't clean up after myself, I don't like to clean up after others, I'm not a good cook, I enjoy 'me' time, if I could have sole control over the tv I would and I wouldn't think twice about it... oh, and you can add not being overly sympathetic for others in times of need to the list.

bad wife

This past Monday was Jake's birthday and I didn't blog about it. The thing is, I actually thought about it and decided not to (how awful am I???). I've been feeling really bad about this because it should be a blogworthy topic (or so you would think), but honestly this year I couldn't wait for his birthday weekend and day (now extended to week) to be over!

You may be thinking I am a terrible wife or worse, a birthday hater- but I'm not, I promise! That's the crazy thing, I actually LOVE celebrating birthdays. As a matter of fact, until this year I've gone above and beyond in effort to make Jake excited for his BIG day. But slowly Jake has begun ruining these annual moments for me. I mean Christmas was bad enough, but now he took my birthday joy...it's really a shame.

This year, I talked well in advance about having friends get together to go indoor karting or do the new Hanger 09 flight simulation he'd been talking about. Of course, he nixed that idea as soon as he saw the price. So then I moved on to to suggesting a group dinner, something low key... but that earned another thumbs down from the bday boy. So to be honest, I gave up. I decided that if he didn't want to outwardly celebrate, I'd make him at least acknowledge it at home, but that was it. I set out on Saturday to get his gifts- one thing expected (an electric razor) and one surprise (a cycling jersey).

To MY surprise, he came home on Saturday extremely pumped about the cycling jersey he found on sale at Contes...is this a joke??? The one thing I splurged on because I knew he wouldn't expect it was the one thing he'd come home having bought for himself! Unbelievable. I proceeded to tell him that I had purchased something along those lines for his birthday had he waited two more days. He then asked to see what I bought and after looking at it said, "I like the one I got, you should take that back." Kill me now. The upsetting part is that I consider gift giving to be one of my love languages. So that being said, how is that I screw up every gift I get him??? Its tragic.

So, as you can imagine at this point I was done- completely defeated and not excited for his birthday, which was still 2 days away! The morning of his birthday I mustered up all the energy and smiles I could as I gave him his electric razor (anticipated by him already, I'm sure) and card. Then, I patiently waited for him to go to work and finally felt a sense of relief...his bday was half way over.