Take a good, hard look

Most of you probably think I'm a creature of habit/routine- and to an extent I am, but there is another part of me that craves change.

It sounds a little crazy but I've noticed since Jake took a job in Virginia Beach that I've been desperately seeking a change. Lately I've channeled that need into researching moving, switching our furniture around, & acquiring a pet...I'm looking for something different (clearly). But in all seriousness, are these things really going to fulfill this seemingly urgent need for change? I don't think so.

When Jake was debating where to take a job, I found myself an unbiased supporter. I wanted us to pray about the next step and for once didn't want my opinion to weigh in so heavily (I don't know if I even had an opinion at all, which is a first). It was important to me that we approached this big decision the right way- I knew I'd get excited no matter where we ended up. And the truth is, now that we've committed to VB, that hope of change is gone...at least for me. Now, I'm seeking a replacement, something else that could substitute a change in cities and I'm coming up empty handed. So what is the real issue here? If you asked me that question 2 days ago, I would have just blankly stared back at you...I mean I didn't see anything unusual with my recent behavior. But as I started to blog after the weekend I began asking myself questions, provoking deeper thought regarding the insignificant behaviors I was writing about. I took a good, hard look at just what was going on with me beneath the surface.

And here is what I found...

1. Fact, I had put a lot more hope in the chance of moving than I admitted to myself or anyone else, but I am not disappointed- NO, I'm responding to a situation that I whole-heartedly trusted the Lord to make. A decision I saw going a different direction in the back of my mind, but one that ultimately I avoided control of (which isn't like me). Its a weird feeling.

2. These changes I've been focused on are merely distractions. I didn't get my way in a sense so I've been looking for simpler, easier things to control. Well, the Lord isn't having that! Like I could "one up" him with a dog anyway, who do I think I am??? He is B R E A K I N G me down, slowly but surely! Have you ever had that happen? This isn't the first time for me and that's how I recognize it. For me it comes in the form of crazy emotions, being slapped in the face with reality, and humbled by just how small and known I am.

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD." -Psalm 139: 1, 4

3. The Lord is using me for his purpose in all of this. He is using my placement here in VB, he is using this sobering lesson, and he is using my drive and passion...maybe not for change, but I feel very confident he is going to direct it on something amazing, I just know it.

It's the little things in life

It's really amazing to think about the little things I get excited about...especially, when I look at how small and insignificant they tend to be, but how much time I spend thinking/obsessing over them.

For example, Jake and I are considering moving come May into a townhouse or condo closer to his new job. I am looking forward to this because:

1. I don't mind my commute to Norfolk, so as long as the highway is close by I am game for a new location.
2. I would NEVER complain about moving closer to the beach, it just goes against my nature.
3. I look at this potential increase in square footage as a decorating opportunity- I'm simply ready to shake our decor up a bit!

So what things have I started thinking about since we discussed moving? Well, of course my initial and strongest focus has been on lining future "homes" up to consider...give me some credit, I do know how to prioritize.

Next, I've started thinking about floors...will they be carpeted or hardwood (I prefer the latter); paint colors (Jake is a great painter); wall treatments (I'm adamant that I won't spend another year without curtains); wall art (prints we need for our current frames and what art I can find at TJ Maxx); a second bathroom (I've prayed for this in our next place and hope its a full bath so I can get a new shower curtain and dabble in a new color scheme for this space); grills (just in time for summer) and so forth.

As you can imagine my mind is racing with things to come and I predict I will have a VERY busy spring/summer ahead of me. As you also can imagine, Jake is perfectly content not moving and not spending a dime on decorations. Although I think he has come to terms that curtains are in store whether he loves the idea or not...

de ja vue?

If you're in Atlanta (Katie) and you have video footage of the circus zebra on the loose, CNN is accepting your videos!

Just a typical day at work when Meredith informs us (very matter of fact) that a zebra has been seen on the loose in Atlanta and officers are in "hot pursuit". What??? I didn't believe it...and then she sent me the story and kept me abreast of CNN's tweets- so I was convinced...this really happened.

Want to know what is even better? This isn't the first time Atlanta has faced this situation. And NO, I don't mean something similar, I mean another point in time with a zebra on the loose. Don't believe me? See for yourself (if you dare) and relive April 2008.

This is sort of like the time we were at work and heard about the back up on 264 because horses were in the downtown tunnel...strange, but unforgettable.

Let's redefine romantic comedy...

Monday morning (my day off) I woke up with a sore throat.

Was I surprised? No. Jake had a sore throat the week before, so I knew it was only a matter of time before it struck me.

Was I bummed? Yes. I actually had plans with some friends and had been waiting all weekend to see them.

Day's Activities: I spent the day watching movies and hanging out in my PJs.

Best part of my day: Getting to have ice cream sundaes...for medicinal purposes, of course.

Tuesday morning (work day) I woke up with a sore throat (possibly worse than Monday) and head congestion.

Was I surprised? No. The lack of sleep gave me reason to believe a rough and long day was ahead of me.

Was I bummed? No. For the first time, I didn't feel bad about calling out sick. Nothing I was working on was urgent and I knew if I stayed home that I might actually get to rest and not be disturbed with work related queries.

Day's Activities: I watched Twilight, napped, and then watched some tv snuggled under layers of blankets until Jake came home from work.

Best part(s) of my day: First, Jake calling to check on me between all of his patients- I thought this was adorable. He attributed his new vested interest in my health to the fact that we're married now...I guess when we weren't my health wasn't as large of a concern (I'm still trying to figure this out). Second, when he came home with a "romantic comedy" to watch. Here is how that conversation went:

Jake: Hey, I rented a romantic comedy for us to watch tonight, thought it might make you feel better.

Me: Really? What'd you rent? You hate chick flicks...

Jake: (threw the dvd my direction) You'll see, it looked like something you'd want to watch.

Me: (after reading the Law Abiding Citizen, title) Are you sure this is a romance movie?

Jake: Yeah, why?

Me: The font on the dvd is scary and the title doesn't sound very romantic...

Jake: It is, trust me. Just put it in.

Me: Ok.

Opening scene of the movie...a man and his wife are beaten, duct taped, and stabbed...then the wife and daughter are killed. YIKES!

Me: Jake, this isn't a romantic comedy. Is this a horror movie?

Jake: I don't think so, just watch.

Me: Fine, but you didn't have to trick me and act like you were doing something sweet.......At least Gerard Butler is in this, you know I LOVE him!

Jake: Exactly, thus what makes it a romance!

Me: Right...this makes sense now.

I'll stop there...after all this is a perfect snapshot of a typical night (and conversation) at the McCrowell household.

Valentine's Day Replay

Ok, ok so this Valentine's Day was not too shabby. I know my previous posts might lead you to believe that Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday, but it has never been awful. Jake is always great to me, I just don't love the created pressure it brings about.

Anyway, Jake and I celebrated this past weekend in our usual fashion and it was nice. I can never wait to give Jake his presents til the day of- never...I just get so excited that I always give him at least part of his present early. So this year's V Day was no exception and come Saturday I gave Jake a big bag of cliff bars (2 of every flavor except for mint). I know it doesn't sound romantic, but food is the way to Jake's heart and cliff bars are something he considers a "splurge" so I'm safe to assume he won't have bought himself any recently. Plus, this was a compromise since he asked me not to spend any money. I did at least save the card for Sunday to shake things up, but all in all I was glad I gave my gift early...as Jake's plans for the holiday unraveled on Saturday as well.

He started the evening off with a much appreciated gift card and bottle of wine I mentioned wanting to try and then started cooking what became one of my favorite shrimp dinners thus far. I actually tried to take a picture of the beautiful meal and table, but as usual, our camera battery was dead and it took too long to find the charger (story of my life). After dinner, we watched the Olympics and had some good conversation about the crazy athleticism...it was perfect.

My Point Exactly

I knew it! If you haven't read my pre-Valentine's Day blog you need to in order for today's to make sense.

Today at work the flowers started...

I was secretly hoping with Valentine's Day falling on a Sunday that I wouldn't be subject to the overwhelming amount of flowers and love going around the office, but I wasn't that lucky. And of course, someone in my own department of 12 had to be sent some. The recipient (who shall remain nameless ) isn't in a relationship, her admirer is a guy shes been on a few dates with! How does that work??? And the best part is she left early for the day to catch a flight and there the roses sit, unadmired til Tuesday. I secretly plotted how I could take them home for the weekend and have them back before she noticed next week, but I couldn't. Truth is, I would never actually have the "balls" to do such a thing and it wouldn't be possible with all the onlookers in the department...but I thought about it. Pathetic.

The worst part is that I am torn because I stand by my previous post and the fact that I don't want money wasted on flowers for a Hallmark holiday, but I find myself jealous- how awful, especially because I adore this particular co-worker.

I want to add that she received flowers for this same occasion last year too, different guy, same point (actually the second year running makes it that much more envious).

her arrangement looks just like this...

Sleep is for the Fortunate

I'm going to just come out and say that I have not been sleeping well lately (well, since I got married and started sharing my queen size bed). Jake and I have tried switching sides, adding pillows...trading pillows, etc. etc. and nothing seems to be working.

Fact: When you get married you don't all of a sudden welcome the opportunity for constant cuddling.

Fact: No matter where Jake rests his pretty lil head when he first goes to sleep it will DEFINITELY end up on my pillow by 2:00am.

I don't want to sound like a brat but I don't want to share my pillow...or my side of the bed. It is the worst feeling to wake up to heavy breaths on the back of your neck because in the past few hours someone has somehow moved within inches of you- gross!

On top of that, I'm a tosser and a turner. However, unlike Jake I manage to do so without breaching the middle of the bed border. I think one of the reasons I wake up every night is that amidst my moving back and forth, it is guaranteed that when I go to turn and face Jake's side I will turn to really face one of the following::

1. Jake will already be too close for comfort- I know this because I can feel my breath hit him...that is too close.

OR

2. (and possibly worse) He will already be facing my direction, breathing with his mouth open...no snoring, but definitely mid-sleep/almost morning breath is coming out- also gross!

So there it is, a snapshot of my sleepless nights. Jealous? I didn't think so.

Sweet Tea Makes Me Do Crazy Things!

Most of you know that I LOVE sweet tea! I don't know what it is about it (well, actually I know its the caffeine and sugar) but it just jump starts my morning...or evening, if I'm eating out and splurge for tea instead of water.

I simply can't get enough of it- I could drink it when I wake up and before I go to bed- I love it that much! I thank God every day that for the McDonald's and Hardee's $1 Sweet Tea deal...in the wise words of McDonald's advertising, "i'm lovin it"!

You may be asking yourself why I'm choosing to blog about this right now (at 9:14pm) and the only explanation is that I have a ridiculous amount of energy...and joy...as a result of my large sweet tea from dinner! I was hoping that I could type some of my energy out, but all I'm doing is smiling and typing faster than I can think- is this normal? Probably not, but I'm going to enjoy it until I crash and have to be carried to bed by my all-to-familiar-with-my-sugar-addiction husband. Nighty night!

Valentine's Day...Ugh!

Well, well, well it's that time again when I start racking my brain in preparation for the upcoming holiday. I've barely recovered from Christmas and Valentine's Day is already creeping around the corner!

Let me start by saying, I am NOT a fan of this annual Hallmark holiday. Honestly, I feel like it creates an unnecessary pressure to appease your counterpart...make them feel special so to speak. But the truth is, that if Jake were to do something sweet or romantic for me out of the blue, it would be much more meaningful. We should be striving to make our partner feel loved year round because we know it's important and not because we have the world as an audience. So does that mean he is off the hook come February 14??? Of course not! I know it is shallow, but the fact that everyone will be getting a lil extra attention this upcoming weekend creates a need for me to get some myself.


It's like when you tell your person not to bother sending flowers because they are too expensive, yatta, yatta, yatta. Well do you or do you not spend the day counting how many other women around you get them? I mean honestly, last year I walked by the reception desk and each time I saw a bouquet, paused and quickly wished it was for me. Awful, I know...but someone out there has to know exactly what I'm talking about! Deep down I know (and keep telling myself) that if flowers came on a random day I'd feel so much more appreciated and loved than on Feb. 14th- but that doesn't drown the hope. I don't even like red roses! What is wrong with me???

I'm sure Jake is reading this feeling utterly confused about the upcoming weekend. After all, he is a practical guy and Valentine's Day isn't a practical celebration- this weekend probably appears nightmarish to him. And now on top of that, I've subtly hinted at my minor expectation for the day and as a result also placed pressure on myself. I'm starting to regret this post already- EEK!

I Need a Hobby

It's been brought to my attention recently that I need a hobby...or so Jake thinks. We were having a conversation in which he confessed to struggling for gift ideas when it came to me because I have no hobbies! What was he talking about??? I have plenty of hobbies and shared each and every one of them...which he then argued weren't hobbies at all. And then I got to thinking, they were certainly things of interests, but which ones were actually hobbies? Here's the mental battle that followed immediately after our conversation regarding the "hobbies" I'd cited to Jake:

1. Shopping- certainly this had to qualify as a hobby. I mean I LOVE shopping and I do it all the time, but then I started thinking that I was trying to cut back on this particular habit of mine since lately I'd been doing a lot of it with not a lot of money.

2. Traveling- I love to travel...but road trips haven't been happening lately, or really any visiting of new places or old friends at all. So if I'm being honest, the only traveling in my life has been for work. How lame is that? Are hobbies allowed to happen in relation to work? It seems sort of contradictory.

3. Watching Movies- I am definitely still into this! I mainly rent movies from Redbox but over the Holidays "splurged" to see a few in the theater. Jake, however feels this isn't hobby-enough, so I am still left questioning whether I have any at all. I'm so confused.

So what should I do? What hobbies should I take on? I thought about reading, although this never really caught my fancy before. Maybe Twilight changed that, I don't know...will I be able to find another series I want to read so intensely?

What options are there apart from physical activities? I'll get back into running when it warms up, but Hip Hop Hustle is no longer being offered at the Rec (not that I took it when it was there) and I don't enjoy lifting weights.

What else is there? I'm not sure, but I'm open to suggestions as I suddenly feel the need to remedy void in my life fast!

Babies R Us...is not for me!

Let me start by asking, have you ever been to a Babies R Us? If you have then you may relate to my nightmare, but if you haven't take the below as a caveat.

I had a baby shower to attend today and since I was out of town of all last week, had to put the shopping off til Friday (not like me at all, I usually have my shower gifts wrapped days in advance). This may not seem so bad, especially to the average procrastinator, but when you take into consideration that my shopping had to take place at Babies R Us it was every bit as awful as I'm foreshadowing. Registries at Babies R Us are like none other- I don't know what it is about the store but the layout makes no sense (at least the one in VB) and the registry is about as vague as you can get.

Once I arrived, I headed immediately for the one registry kiosk hidden toward the back of the store (I found its location the hard way, another time, another shower). I proceeded to type out the required information about the mom-to-be and hit print. As I started walking toward the aisles I began combing through the list seeing what was within the "budget" Jake had given me (budget is a term I take lightly, but I'm still learning) and immediately started narrowing my options down. Now of course, being the planner that I am I had already peeked at the couple's registry online so I could get visuals for items I may purchase (I knew even then, I would need all the help I could get in effort to actually locate them in the store). I slowly grew more and more confused as I found the registered bedding, etc...it looked nothing like what I had seen online. It seemed a little late in the game and too close to the shower date to change their selections, or so was my opinion. Then I saw it, the couple at the top of the list was not Kristina & Marcus- no, no, no it was an entirely different couple with the same last name and similarly spelled first names. How could it have given me the wrong list? It didn't even list the options of couples that matched the information I typed in, but apparently there was more than one. So there I was, 15 minutes into my hunt for the perfect gift(s) going off the wrong list. I was SO annoyed, to say the least! All I kept thinking to myself was that this wouldn't happen at Target! Ahh! I went back to the kiosk, submitted even more vague information about the parents-to-be and voila- a list of names matching the information came up and I selected the correct couple! I printed the new list out and started my narrowing process down...again!

If I had to guess, I would say that less than half of the items on the list actually listed which aisle they were in...not that that mattered because things with aisle #s couldn't be found there! Maybe it was me, but I could never seem to find the right brand pacifiers, sippy cups, or "soft bite" spoons. I mean, is it that hard or am I just slow??? I didn't think you had to be expecting or a parent to "get" Babies R Us and the crazy volume of things they sold in their store, but maybe you do.

Well to keep this story from going even longer than it already has, I will wrap up by sharing that we ended up going with the Sure Comfort Deluxe Newborn-to-Toddler tub, whale washcloths, tearless shampoo, and a cute duck night gown.

Yep. You were right, Jake LOVED what we got them!

Welcome to Dallas!

Ok so I just got back from Dallas, TX and wanted to blog about my interesting arrival last Sunday (don't give me a hard time about the delay, I was working)!

Alright, I arrived in the evening with my boss' boss and had no idea I was about to take the best cab ride of my life. I want to start off by saying that I've never really had a normal cab ride, but this one was my favorite by far- just barely passing the 4am taxi ride where the driver filled me in on all the Las Vegas gossip...mainly about the Wynn hotel owner splitting with his long time wife for cheating in addition to a brief history of their intricate marriage.

But, back to my story...we walked out to the row of cabs and went to the orange, Jet Taxi minivan at the front of the line. The blaring music should have been my first tip, but I was tired and hungry so we went for it anyway. He opens the back to load our luggage and the heavy metal music all but blew my hair back! He loaded our things and we hopped on in. I waited for him to turn the music down...but he didn't. He actually proceeded to shout over the song and ask where to- really??? I just smiled and was going along with it. Of course, my boss asked him to turn the music down and he did...for a mere 30 seconds to hear our destination and then went back to full throttle. What a nightmare! Not to mention, the heat was on HOT and HIGH, I was actually breaking a sweat in the steamy van all bundled up from my traveling through a snow storm. The next time he spoke to us was to ask how we wanted to get there- I honestly wasn't sure how to respond. Clearly, the quickest way was my answer but I was fairly certain he only asked because he wasn't familiar with the hotel. Yikes! I'd never had a cab driver actually not know how to get me to my final destination! To avoid being dropped off in some abandoned lot I started reciting the address of the hotel to him hoping this would secure my safe arrival. It did, and we actually got there in record time...apparently the speed limit is 70 in Texas with 80 being the norm! Wish I had known this before I sat in the middle seat, sweating while I stared through the windshield afraid for my life as we passed every other car and traveled on a road I couldn't even be certain was leading to where I so desperately wanted to get!